More than a week after it happened, everyone is still talking about Will Smith slapping Chris Rock across the face at the Oscars in response to a joke about his wife’s buzz cut. The ensuing chorus of judgment and self-righteousness that followed was deafening. But there’s an important teachable moment here for all of us.
If you unpack the Academy Award-winning actor’s anger over what he viewed as a cheap shot at his wife, who suffers from a medical condition that resulted in hair loss, it comes from a place of fear. At one point or another, we have all been put into positions where we feel the need to defend someone’s honor and feel that they’ve been disrespected.
It’s part of being human. By the same token, we also have all experienced being on the other side – saying something that came out wrong or telling an off-color joke, and then being attacked over those words or sentiment. The lesson is that we can find compassion for both Will and Chris in this particular high-profile circumstance because we have been both of them and understand where they are coming from. So while I’m not going to chastise Will for doing what he did, I’m also not going to defend him because violence is never the answer.
What I will say is that we have the power to take any fear that we’re feeling and transmute it into some sort of love, kindness and compassion. These positive emotions are the only way we can move beyond fear. So let’s stop holding people to an unrealistically high standard and replace any judgment with understanding.
The fact that Will resigned as a member of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences is a step toward healing, and moving forward he can use that unfortunate incident as a teachable moment to influence his supporters on the importance of settling scores with thoughtful words, never acts of violence.